数过多的家庭挤在一间小屋子里, 过着连饭都吃不饱的日子 You may have misunderstood the author's point. His point was precisely the opposite: Because each family has only one child, over-crowded household and not having enough to eat are no longer the problems.
一个人在中国住一段才会了解中国人口问题的严重. The use of 才 goes against the main point. The main point is one will quickly notice the problem, so it should not be 才.
Before this phrase, 在中国,交通特别乱而老百姓往往挤不上公共汽车, you should add 比方说. Not being able to get on the bus is only one problem caused by over-population.
I can give you a score of 80. You don't have to revise if you don't want to. But if you re-organize the thoughts and revise, you could get a better score.
数过多的家庭挤在一间小屋子里, 过着连饭都吃不饱的日子 You may have misunderstood the author's point. His point was precisely the opposite: Because each family has only one child, over-crowded household and not having enough to eat are no longer the problems.
ReplyDelete一个人在中国住一段才会了解中国人口问题的严重. The use of 才 goes against the main point. The main point is one will quickly notice the problem, so it should not be 才.
Before this phrase, 在中国,交通特别乱而老百姓往往挤不上公共汽车, you should add 比方说. Not being able to get on the bus is only one problem caused by over-population.
I can give you a score of 80. You don't have to revise if you don't want to. But if you re-organize the thoughts and revise, you could get a better score.